We have been keeping very busy this summer! Trying to keep up with our garden which has been great until the last few week with 100 degree temps and no rain, it has been hard. The squash bug have gotten pretty much everything but the tomatoes so far. We had great zucchini with 15 plants early on, then the bugs came and destroyed all of them in about a weeks time!
Mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer so have been trying to help her out as much as we can. She is doing really well and hasn't been feeling too bad. The worst part for her has been loosing her hair. Tomorrow she will have her third treatment and only 3 more to go. Then she will have radiation.
The kids have done 3 bible schools this year!! They have enjoyed everyone of them and it has really given us something to do this summer.
They are also doing swimming lessons twice a week for 6 weeks. It is a lot of running but we think it is very important that they learn how to swim! And they are doing a great job and so are the instructors at Lifestrokes.
This past weekend we spent it in Omaha with Bruce's family celebrating Bob's 60th birthday swimming at the hotel then spending the day at the zoo. Even though it was 100 degrees it really didn't feel that hot and there were no major melt downs either! :)
Today is catch up day. On the agenda is picking all tomatoes that are ready so I can can them, laundry (there is so much that could take days), paying bills, trying to water the garden and yard so we don't lose both of them, and hanging out as a family. Should be great!
Better get started.......
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Photo Book
Click here to view this photo book larger
Shutterfly offers exclusive layouts and designs so you can make your book just the way you want.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Summer fun...in April
I don't remember a time when we could hunt Easter eggs in tank tops. Or go swimming on April 1st, outside on our patio, in Nebraska. We have just successfully done all of those things and also mowed the lawn twice!!
The kids so far have been to 3 Easter egg hunts and will have one more at grandma's on Sunday. It is so much fun to watch them have fun and just do things as a family. Mia even won the "big" prize at the nursing home egg hunt in Firth! And no she wasn't racing against the residents! :)
Everything is starting to bloom and bud. The tulips were beautiful, but the wind has now destroyed them. That's what happens out here "on the farm". I am getting the urge to plant flowers and the garden. Not may stores have their flowers out yet, so I guess I will be waiting on that..
I am hoping to do a better job at keeping up with the blogging and to get everything from the memorable to the everyday written down so one day we can look back and remember our life in a small town.
The kids so far have been to 3 Easter egg hunts and will have one more at grandma's on Sunday. It is so much fun to watch them have fun and just do things as a family. Mia even won the "big" prize at the nursing home egg hunt in Firth! And no she wasn't racing against the residents! :)
Everything is starting to bloom and bud. The tulips were beautiful, but the wind has now destroyed them. That's what happens out here "on the farm". I am getting the urge to plant flowers and the garden. Not may stores have their flowers out yet, so I guess I will be waiting on that..
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
sorting out the feelings
I never knew that there could be so many feelings associated with one thing, person, or event. I have been wanting to put my feelings in writing for a while but for me, that isn't easy. Wether it is verbal, or in writing.
The only thing that I have regretted from this is all of the emotions and feelings and thought that I had early on in my pregnancy. When all of the "troubles" started and we were told that with the low fluid etc...the chance were very low of us having a "normal, healthy" baby. My first thought was I don't know if I can handle a baby that isn't "normal or relatively healthy". I am not a good enough mother to have our two others and have to care for another that could need LOTS of care, Dr. appts, therapy, etc.... To be honest, I didn't want a baby that could have multiple issues. I struggled with myself, with God. I knew that these thought weren't right, they weren't politically correct, or motherly correct, or any type of "correct". How could I have those feelings? How/why would anyone not love a child, no matter what?
I had felt during the whole pregnancy that something wasn't right. And I was having a hard time dealing with that. I didn't want to have to make any hard decisions. I didn't want to live my life trying to balance 2 healthy kids and their needs, a home, a marriage, AND a child with special needs (whatever they may be). Can you say selfish? Selfish to the core!
When I was told that I would be in the hospital for 6 weeks my heart sank. My thoughts raced about what were we going to do with Mia and Ty, who was going to clean, buy groceries, pay the bills, how was Bruce going to handle all of this while still working full time? Why me? Why me God? Why us? What are you trying to prove God? Probably again not the correct questions but the ones I had.
I was in the hospital just waiting. I spent many mornings in the shower crying, sobbing, crying out to God with why? Why am I going through this when the odds of us taking a baby home are almost none. God why don't you just end this now? Why didn't you end it earlier, it seemed like my body was trying everything it knew how to. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to go through all of this but as the days and weeks went on I started to have hope, hope that we would be bringing a baby home. No one thought I would even make it to the point of being put in the hospital so...
I really thought that with all of the emotions and thoughts that I had that I would have more to write but I don't. I didn't want to go through any of this. I didn't want a baby with special needs. I wanted my "normal" life back.
I am ashamed that I ever thought I didn't want a baby with special needs. I learned so much during this whole process. I learned how selfish I really am. I learned how precious life really is and that we can't take it for granted. I learned that my feelings were ok. I brought them to God and he met me where I was. He knew. He knew my thoughts and still loved me. He is helping me with the only thing I regret about Zac's life; knowing that at one time I thought I didn't want him and now I don't have him and want him desperately.
I also have to deal with the feelings and emotions of knowing that the chromosome issue, the trans location of 2 and 20 came from me. I am the carrier of this. And knowing that Mia and Ty could also be carriers and have to deal with something like this when they have their own children is hard. I have enough medical background to know that there is nothing we could have done differently. And it is even somewhat amazing that there are even "normal healthy" people in the world today with all of the splitting and joining that cells do. The only explanation is God!!
God did not punish me by taking Zac to be in heaven with him. He has given us comfort knowing that Zac is healthy, happy, and although I am sure he would love to be with us and to be with his brother and sister, he wouldn't come back. Not to this corrupt earth when he has experienced the joy of heaven.
The only thing that I have regretted from this is all of the emotions and feelings and thought that I had early on in my pregnancy. When all of the "troubles" started and we were told that with the low fluid etc...the chance were very low of us having a "normal, healthy" baby. My first thought was I don't know if I can handle a baby that isn't "normal or relatively healthy". I am not a good enough mother to have our two others and have to care for another that could need LOTS of care, Dr. appts, therapy, etc.... To be honest, I didn't want a baby that could have multiple issues. I struggled with myself, with God. I knew that these thought weren't right, they weren't politically correct, or motherly correct, or any type of "correct". How could I have those feelings? How/why would anyone not love a child, no matter what?
I had felt during the whole pregnancy that something wasn't right. And I was having a hard time dealing with that. I didn't want to have to make any hard decisions. I didn't want to live my life trying to balance 2 healthy kids and their needs, a home, a marriage, AND a child with special needs (whatever they may be). Can you say selfish? Selfish to the core!
When I was told that I would be in the hospital for 6 weeks my heart sank. My thoughts raced about what were we going to do with Mia and Ty, who was going to clean, buy groceries, pay the bills, how was Bruce going to handle all of this while still working full time? Why me? Why me God? Why us? What are you trying to prove God? Probably again not the correct questions but the ones I had.
I was in the hospital just waiting. I spent many mornings in the shower crying, sobbing, crying out to God with why? Why am I going through this when the odds of us taking a baby home are almost none. God why don't you just end this now? Why didn't you end it earlier, it seemed like my body was trying everything it knew how to. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to go through all of this but as the days and weeks went on I started to have hope, hope that we would be bringing a baby home. No one thought I would even make it to the point of being put in the hospital so...
I really thought that with all of the emotions and thoughts that I had that I would have more to write but I don't. I didn't want to go through any of this. I didn't want a baby with special needs. I wanted my "normal" life back.
I am ashamed that I ever thought I didn't want a baby with special needs. I learned so much during this whole process. I learned how selfish I really am. I learned how precious life really is and that we can't take it for granted. I learned that my feelings were ok. I brought them to God and he met me where I was. He knew. He knew my thoughts and still loved me. He is helping me with the only thing I regret about Zac's life; knowing that at one time I thought I didn't want him and now I don't have him and want him desperately.
I also have to deal with the feelings and emotions of knowing that the chromosome issue, the trans location of 2 and 20 came from me. I am the carrier of this. And knowing that Mia and Ty could also be carriers and have to deal with something like this when they have their own children is hard. I have enough medical background to know that there is nothing we could have done differently. And it is even somewhat amazing that there are even "normal healthy" people in the world today with all of the splitting and joining that cells do. The only explanation is God!!
God did not punish me by taking Zac to be in heaven with him. He has given us comfort knowing that Zac is healthy, happy, and although I am sure he would love to be with us and to be with his brother and sister, he wouldn't come back. Not to this corrupt earth when he has experienced the joy of heaven.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Zac's story
It has been a while since I posted last. Probably about 7 weeks. I said I wasn't good at these things. A lot has happened since the first post. I will try to remember all that has happened.
About week 4 in the hospital and the Dr. set a date for the c-section. June 1, 2011. It was finally becoming a reality. A date. No one even thought that I would make it to 26 weeks let alone a date for a c-section. The excitement is rising. My mind has tricked me into thinking that since I have "made it this far" everything is good.
One long day after another. Visits and phone calls from friends and family help pass the time. The nurses here are great. They have taken great care of me, not that I required much, but everyone is kind and friendly. They monitor the baby twice a day for an hour. They tell me it all looks good on the monitor.
May 26, 2011 our world comes a part. I start having contractions about 30 min after I told the Dr. that I feel fine. He comes back to see me and schedules me for a c-section at 1 pm. (The contractions started about 9.) I have called Bruce and we have let our families know. I tell Bruce we aren't scheduled until 1 so take your time. Bruce comes around 10 and the contractions are strong, 4 min apart, then 1 min apart. Now we are moved up for the c-section! The nurses just keep telling me not to push. I didn't feel the need to push, but they were very nervous at how fast things were moving.
Noonish, I have sort of lost track of time, I am in the OR and getting the spinal. The c-section begins. I can tell something is wrong, it is taking too long. Finally they tell me we have a baby boy but I hear no crying. I keep asking why no crying as they briefly show him to me and wisk him off to the NICU. My Dr. is calling for blood for me, lots of it. I feel so much pain and want it to stop. Finally I am taken to the recovery room where things don't get any better. So much pain! I am fading in and out but notice lots of people around, more than there should be. The Dr. keeps pushing on me I scream for him to stop, to put me to sleep, anything to stop the pain. I now feel the bed rolling. Moving fast down long white hallways. We stop briefly and I see Bruce and my mom looking at me crying. I am taken away for an emergency hysterectomy. I was loosing too much blood. The Dr. told me later that he had to keep me in pain to keep my blood pressure up. 45/12 really made everyone very nervous. He also told me later that he tried everything to not have to do the hysterectomy, knowing how sick our little baby was. But he had no choice, the only way to save my life was to take away any chance of ever having another baby. 8 units of blood later I wake up in the ICU with so many tubes and wires coming out of me that I didn't know what to think.
Bruce comes in to talk to me. I feel like I can't talk. Our baby, Zac, has to be flown to Children's in Omaha. He has a heart defect and they don't treat that here in Lincoln. Bruce leaves to be with him. The next few hours are a blur. I have visitors, nurses, x-ray, lab, all sorts of people in and out. Bruce calls, says Zac is very sick. He has a lot of issues but his heart is not pumping the blood that is needed. His lungs are too weak to do heart surgery. We will have to wait. Zac's neonatologist happened to be a friend of Bruce's from college. God had Dr. Griebe on call just for us. We couldn't have gone through this without him. A man of God.
Friday comes (the 27th) and Bruce is still in Omaha with Zac and lots of our family. I go through the day trying to make sense of everything while entertaining lots of visitors. All the while never being able to hold or even see my baby. Friday night comes and Bruce calls. Zac is not doing well. All of our family goes to Omaha to be with him. I want to be there so bad. To hold, to touch, to smell, to just even see my precious baby. They set me up on Skype so I can at least see him. It is bitter sweet. Bits and pieces of sleep come while I wait for morning.
The phone rings and it is Bruce. Zac is not doing well. We have to make a decision as to go ahead with the heart surgery knowing it is VERY risky or loving on him while we take him off of the vent to peacefully rest in the arms of Jesus. We decide not to put him through anymore, it is time for God to make him whole. The next decision is to try and get him to Lincoln via ambulance to be with me or to keep him in Omaha. We decide that he would be more comfortable in Omaha, with most of our family there to hold him (some people where in Lincoln with me). We set up Skype again and I layed there in the ICU and watched as people got to hold and love on Zac. Oh how I wish I could have held him, just once. It was time, as we all cried, Dr. Griebe removed the tube that was keeping Zac alive and Zac peacefully went into the arms of Jesus. He was with us almost exactly 48hrs. It was hard to do but we were at peace with the decision. Dr. Griebe, the genetics Dr. and all of the nurses knew and comforted us that it was the best decision. Even if Zac would have made it through the heart surgery, he had many other problems. Genetic disorders, lung issue, most likely kidney and liver problems and that is probably just the begining.
Bruce brought Zac to Lincoln for me to hold him, to love on him even though he was already gone. Bruce and Dr. Griebe both have had a hard time with the fact that I never got to hold my precious baby. We made the right choice. I struggle sometimes with that too but I know that he was loved, I know that he knows how much I love him even though I wasn't there to be with him. Every mom wants to be there for their child.....
The night Zac passed away I was finally moved out of the ICU. I spent another day and a half in the hospital recovering. I was 1 day short of 6 total weeks in the hospital. The next days of planning for the funeral and dealing with grief seemed long. The nights even longer as I couldn't sleep. The burial and memorial service were beautiful. Such a tribute to Zac and what God did in his short time on earth. (More on that later)
We will always remember Zac. We have gone through a lot over the last 6 months and the only thing that we would change would be that Zac would be here now with us. We are glad we didn't know about the genetic issues before, or all of the other things because we have no regrets. We did everything in our power for Zac and would do it all over again for him. We rest in the faith that he is with Jesus, a healthy, dancing, boy and can't wait to see him again someday.
About week 4 in the hospital and the Dr. set a date for the c-section. June 1, 2011. It was finally becoming a reality. A date. No one even thought that I would make it to 26 weeks let alone a date for a c-section. The excitement is rising. My mind has tricked me into thinking that since I have "made it this far" everything is good.
One long day after another. Visits and phone calls from friends and family help pass the time. The nurses here are great. They have taken great care of me, not that I required much, but everyone is kind and friendly. They monitor the baby twice a day for an hour. They tell me it all looks good on the monitor.
May 26, 2011 our world comes a part. I start having contractions about 30 min after I told the Dr. that I feel fine. He comes back to see me and schedules me for a c-section at 1 pm. (The contractions started about 9.) I have called Bruce and we have let our families know. I tell Bruce we aren't scheduled until 1 so take your time. Bruce comes around 10 and the contractions are strong, 4 min apart, then 1 min apart. Now we are moved up for the c-section! The nurses just keep telling me not to push. I didn't feel the need to push, but they were very nervous at how fast things were moving.
Noonish, I have sort of lost track of time, I am in the OR and getting the spinal. The c-section begins. I can tell something is wrong, it is taking too long. Finally they tell me we have a baby boy but I hear no crying. I keep asking why no crying as they briefly show him to me and wisk him off to the NICU. My Dr. is calling for blood for me, lots of it. I feel so much pain and want it to stop. Finally I am taken to the recovery room where things don't get any better. So much pain! I am fading in and out but notice lots of people around, more than there should be. The Dr. keeps pushing on me I scream for him to stop, to put me to sleep, anything to stop the pain. I now feel the bed rolling. Moving fast down long white hallways. We stop briefly and I see Bruce and my mom looking at me crying. I am taken away for an emergency hysterectomy. I was loosing too much blood. The Dr. told me later that he had to keep me in pain to keep my blood pressure up. 45/12 really made everyone very nervous. He also told me later that he tried everything to not have to do the hysterectomy, knowing how sick our little baby was. But he had no choice, the only way to save my life was to take away any chance of ever having another baby. 8 units of blood later I wake up in the ICU with so many tubes and wires coming out of me that I didn't know what to think.
Bruce comes in to talk to me. I feel like I can't talk. Our baby, Zac, has to be flown to Children's in Omaha. He has a heart defect and they don't treat that here in Lincoln. Bruce leaves to be with him. The next few hours are a blur. I have visitors, nurses, x-ray, lab, all sorts of people in and out. Bruce calls, says Zac is very sick. He has a lot of issues but his heart is not pumping the blood that is needed. His lungs are too weak to do heart surgery. We will have to wait. Zac's neonatologist happened to be a friend of Bruce's from college. God had Dr. Griebe on call just for us. We couldn't have gone through this without him. A man of God.
Friday comes (the 27th) and Bruce is still in Omaha with Zac and lots of our family. I go through the day trying to make sense of everything while entertaining lots of visitors. All the while never being able to hold or even see my baby. Friday night comes and Bruce calls. Zac is not doing well. All of our family goes to Omaha to be with him. I want to be there so bad. To hold, to touch, to smell, to just even see my precious baby. They set me up on Skype so I can at least see him. It is bitter sweet. Bits and pieces of sleep come while I wait for morning.
The phone rings and it is Bruce. Zac is not doing well. We have to make a decision as to go ahead with the heart surgery knowing it is VERY risky or loving on him while we take him off of the vent to peacefully rest in the arms of Jesus. We decide not to put him through anymore, it is time for God to make him whole. The next decision is to try and get him to Lincoln via ambulance to be with me or to keep him in Omaha. We decide that he would be more comfortable in Omaha, with most of our family there to hold him (some people where in Lincoln with me). We set up Skype again and I layed there in the ICU and watched as people got to hold and love on Zac. Oh how I wish I could have held him, just once. It was time, as we all cried, Dr. Griebe removed the tube that was keeping Zac alive and Zac peacefully went into the arms of Jesus. He was with us almost exactly 48hrs. It was hard to do but we were at peace with the decision. Dr. Griebe, the genetics Dr. and all of the nurses knew and comforted us that it was the best decision. Even if Zac would have made it through the heart surgery, he had many other problems. Genetic disorders, lung issue, most likely kidney and liver problems and that is probably just the begining.
Bruce brought Zac to Lincoln for me to hold him, to love on him even though he was already gone. Bruce and Dr. Griebe both have had a hard time with the fact that I never got to hold my precious baby. We made the right choice. I struggle sometimes with that too but I know that he was loved, I know that he knows how much I love him even though I wasn't there to be with him. Every mom wants to be there for their child.....
The night Zac passed away I was finally moved out of the ICU. I spent another day and a half in the hospital recovering. I was 1 day short of 6 total weeks in the hospital. The next days of planning for the funeral and dealing with grief seemed long. The nights even longer as I couldn't sleep. The burial and memorial service were beautiful. Such a tribute to Zac and what God did in his short time on earth. (More on that later)
We will always remember Zac. We have gone through a lot over the last 6 months and the only thing that we would change would be that Zac would be here now with us. We are glad we didn't know about the genetic issues before, or all of the other things because we have no regrets. We did everything in our power for Zac and would do it all over again for him. We rest in the faith that he is with Jesus, a healthy, dancing, boy and can't wait to see him again someday.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Sleeping pills
It's 4 am. I rarely see this time of day!
I am "writing" a journal. I don't do this either. Mainly because I don't feel I have the time, the spelling skills and writing skills, and because I think I will remember everything later (I don't remember things at all).
Do I wait well? NOPE!! Sunday, this would be my last Sunday in church for quite a while, (will go into detail about that later) the sermon was titled "Waiting well". I know that I was the only one that this sermon was meant for. I mean, I am sure I was the only person in the church that needed to hear it right?
In a nutshell Joseph waited on God for something like 24 years (see I need to right things down because I don't remember details) for God to make him powerful even after his brothers sold him into slavery. He was patient. I am not. He used his circumstances to glorify God.
It all started in October of 2010. Actually the "should we? Shouldn't we" started long before that. Then we had an idea, we can't decided if we should have a third child so let's just try one month then go from there. We are now going from there. 26 weeks later and I am in the hospital trying to get this baby to 32weeks. That's right, 6 weeks in the hospital!
Both of our other kids' pregnancies were rather routine. Did I mention that I DO Not enjoy being pregnant? Anyway...January 2011 I have a tear in my placenta. Multiple Dr visits later, I am sort of on the mend. February Bruce and I go to Vegas for a conference that he has. Land in Vegas and I thought I wet my pants but know it wasn't urine. Great. Call the Dr. Office some 1000 miles away and they say to take it easy and get in right when I get back on Mon. Ok fine, Bruce is in meetings all day so I just hang out. Monday comes and we can't get out of Vegas due to flat tires on the plane. Awesome. Bruce kept calm, I did not. I wanted, needed to get in to the Dr. Finally get home Tues and head to the Dr. They do some testing, ultrasounds etc..."everything looks ok. Don't know what happened in Vegas. Go about your life". That's probably not exactly what was said, but close.
So I go about my business. All the time thinking that something just isn't right. March comes along and time for the 20 week ultrasound. Mia was sick so Bruce stayed home with her even though we both had a feeling he needed to go. The ultrasound tech is great but doesn't have poker face. I could tell right away something was wrong. I had even told her I was nervous for this because of all of the other issues earlier. They rush me to see the Dr. Because I ther is very little fluid around the baby. My water had broke at some point Vegas perhaps? Then I am told I will be sent to specialist right away. Thank God for great family and friends that dropped everything to help us out! Remember Bruce wasn't with me, he is home with sick Mia.
Bruce has probably never made it to town so fast in his life! We get in to the appointment and then starts the rush of info. I mean info overload. After another ultrasound the Dr. evaluates it and starts in. We were glad he was straight forward. He gave us the facts. Wow! At this point the baby had a 20% chance of survival. I would now have to be on bed rest which I was not good at, and would be put in the hospital at26 weeks until the baby came or I made it to 32 weeks which ever came first. Thus starts the waiting....I am not good at waiting....God is teaching me how to be fully reliant on him.
Maybe I am here like Joseph was sold to Egypt to do Gods will. Maybe there is some other mom here that is also "waiting" and she needs to feel God's love? Maybe this is just a lesson for me? Waiting....
Tonight I take the sleeping pills that they offered last night....waiting 6 weeks without sleep won't be good.
I am "writing" a journal. I don't do this either. Mainly because I don't feel I have the time, the spelling skills and writing skills, and because I think I will remember everything later (I don't remember things at all).
Do I wait well? NOPE!! Sunday, this would be my last Sunday in church for quite a while, (will go into detail about that later) the sermon was titled "Waiting well". I know that I was the only one that this sermon was meant for. I mean, I am sure I was the only person in the church that needed to hear it right?
In a nutshell Joseph waited on God for something like 24 years (see I need to right things down because I don't remember details) for God to make him powerful even after his brothers sold him into slavery. He was patient. I am not. He used his circumstances to glorify God.
It all started in October of 2010. Actually the "should we? Shouldn't we" started long before that. Then we had an idea, we can't decided if we should have a third child so let's just try one month then go from there. We are now going from there. 26 weeks later and I am in the hospital trying to get this baby to 32weeks. That's right, 6 weeks in the hospital!
Both of our other kids' pregnancies were rather routine. Did I mention that I DO Not enjoy being pregnant? Anyway...January 2011 I have a tear in my placenta. Multiple Dr visits later, I am sort of on the mend. February Bruce and I go to Vegas for a conference that he has. Land in Vegas and I thought I wet my pants but know it wasn't urine. Great. Call the Dr. Office some 1000 miles away and they say to take it easy and get in right when I get back on Mon. Ok fine, Bruce is in meetings all day so I just hang out. Monday comes and we can't get out of Vegas due to flat tires on the plane. Awesome. Bruce kept calm, I did not. I wanted, needed to get in to the Dr. Finally get home Tues and head to the Dr. They do some testing, ultrasounds etc..."everything looks ok. Don't know what happened in Vegas. Go about your life". That's probably not exactly what was said, but close.
So I go about my business. All the time thinking that something just isn't right. March comes along and time for the 20 week ultrasound. Mia was sick so Bruce stayed home with her even though we both had a feeling he needed to go. The ultrasound tech is great but doesn't have poker face. I could tell right away something was wrong. I had even told her I was nervous for this because of all of the other issues earlier. They rush me to see the Dr. Because I ther is very little fluid around the baby. My water had broke at some point Vegas perhaps? Then I am told I will be sent to specialist right away. Thank God for great family and friends that dropped everything to help us out! Remember Bruce wasn't with me, he is home with sick Mia.
Bruce has probably never made it to town so fast in his life! We get in to the appointment and then starts the rush of info. I mean info overload. After another ultrasound the Dr. evaluates it and starts in. We were glad he was straight forward. He gave us the facts. Wow! At this point the baby had a 20% chance of survival. I would now have to be on bed rest which I was not good at, and would be put in the hospital at26 weeks until the baby came or I made it to 32 weeks which ever came first. Thus starts the waiting....I am not good at waiting....God is teaching me how to be fully reliant on him.
Maybe I am here like Joseph was sold to Egypt to do Gods will. Maybe there is some other mom here that is also "waiting" and she needs to feel God's love? Maybe this is just a lesson for me? Waiting....
Tonight I take the sleeping pills that they offered last night....waiting 6 weeks without sleep won't be good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)